How to get noticed by the opposite sex
December 20, 2010

As a person who has never had trouble getting noticed by the opposite sex, I may have some good tips to offer!

Getting noticed in a good way is different depending on the venue in which you are searching.  For instance, ladies, in a bar or restaurant, you are noticed for how you look, and for how much you are engaging with the person or people you came with.  Have you ever had the exerience where you went to a restaurant with a date, and the minute he went to the bathroom, you were approached by another guy?  That’s because you looked great, AND you were smiling and engaged in happy reparte with your date.  That’s the dream — every guy in the room wants to be the guy you are with.  Learn to re-create that look, that feel EVERY time you go out, even when you are just out with your friends, and you will have lots more men just walking up and asking you out for a date.

If this has never happened to you before — it may be a sign that you need to step up your game a bit — perhaps in your look, perhaps in your approachability — perhaps in the energy you are showing the world.

Got a trip to the grocery store, the hardware store, or work today?  Make sure you look great, and that you look engaged, interested and approachable in everything you do.  Looking great means looking great and appropriate for the occasion — you don’t wear a cocktail dress to the grocery store — you will get noticed, but not approached because you are intimidating in that attire in that scenario.

I call it ” vacation attitude.”    I know MANY people who have met their mate while on vacation — do you know why?  It’s because when you get away from your everyday grind, in a plane, train, or just a trip to a grocery in a new town — it is human nature to be more “alive,” to show and express more interest, excitement and openness to the sights and the people around you.  For instance, have you ever noticed that while on vacation, you meet more guys?  Well, that’s because you are OPEN to them, more approachable, more relaxed and allowing them to really see you than you are when you are at home with your head down and your hair in a pony tail at the gym or the grocery store!  I challenge you to put on your VACATION ATTITUDE every day, to get noticed by the opposite sex!

When you walk into a bar or restaurant with your friends, your entrance is very important.  When walking in, hold your head high, your eyes wide open with an expression of friendliness and excitement.  When you walk in, make eye contact — just one seconds worth — with everyone who comes in your path, smile, and then look away.  Look back only if you like what you see!  Look around the room at the scene and the people — just like you would if you were on vacation!

If you are entering a party — again, your entrance is very important.  When you walk in the door, everyone is watching to see who comes in… make your entrance confident, happy, friendly and approachable.  Again, have a smile and just a second of eye contact for everyone you meet.  Look back only at those you are interested in.  If it’s someone you are interested in meeting, let the second glance last 2 seconds, and the 3rd glance last 5, before looking away.  That should be enough of a sign for him to come over and introduce himself.  If he doesn’t, then let it go — you want a guy who is willing to go after what he wants, don’t you?

Interestingly, if you are a guy, the approach is amazingly similar.  Remember how you look — your personal best and appropriate for the situation/venue, remember to look engaged, interested, excited and approachable when in public places.  Add to this, that if you are doing something interesting, noteworthy, polite, or excellent, you will have her attention.  Helping an elderly person, for example.  Or just opening a door for a woman.  Or being nice to the person that the girl you have noticed is with, is noticeable.  Look for her looking at you for more than 2 seconds… that’s your cue to say hello and start a conversation about ANYTHING.  And it can absolutely be anything.  She’s already told you with her gaze and smile that your advance is welcome.  However, if you do NOT get that more than 2 second glance, it’s probably not worth your time in approaching.

In short, it is easy to get noticed by the opposite sex, as long as you look your personal best, you are appropriate for the situation, and are showing energy and approachability wherever you are, out in the world.  So, put on your VACATION ATTITUDE and see how much you are noticed this week!  Let me know what you find!

How to Avoid dating a Married Man
November 10, 2010

Up to 1/3 of the people on online dating sites are actually married.

I cannot imaging a more hurtful and cruel thing to happen to you than to fall in love with someone only to find out later that they are married.  Yes, some of them do hide it that well.

I’ll never forget the man who I accepted a date with once — he was a friend of my boss’s at work.  He gave us (my boss and I) a ride back to the office one night from a place where we were all meeting.  I had to move the baby seat to be able to hop into the back of the car.

He asked me out on a date to the movies.  He was not wearing a wedding ring.  I accepted the date.  He showed up at my apartment to pick me up and made a comment about how the baby was with his wife.  Everything slowed down in my mind… like slow motion in a movie.  I stammered, “you are not married, right?”  He looked at me in a bewildered way and said that he was separated but still married and he thought that I knew because of the baby seat in the back of the car!  I sent him packing that minute, with a sick feeling of ickyness covering me like goosebumps.

Lesson: there a many, many people who are married or at least “not divorced” and pretending to be single.  You need help sorting for that before you ever think about going out with someone.

Here is a list of things to look for that might be a signal that someone you are thinking of going out with is actually married:

http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/features/marriedmen.html

And, if you don’t want to have to become a detective just to date, join a club that screens out the married people of the world, like Events and Adventures (www.eventsandadventures.com).  Then you can be sure that someone you are chatting with or going out with tonight is not going home to their wife!