Archive for December, 2010

How to get noticed by the opposite sex
December 20, 2010

As a person who has never had trouble getting noticed by the opposite sex, I may have some good tips to offer!

Getting noticed in a good way is different depending on the venue in which you are searching.  For instance, ladies, in a bar or restaurant, you are noticed for how you look, and for how much you are engaging with the person or people you came with.  Have you ever had the exerience where you went to a restaurant with a date, and the minute he went to the bathroom, you were approached by another guy?  That’s because you looked great, AND you were smiling and engaged in happy reparte with your date.  That’s the dream — every guy in the room wants to be the guy you are with.  Learn to re-create that look, that feel EVERY time you go out, even when you are just out with your friends, and you will have lots more men just walking up and asking you out for a date.

If this has never happened to you before — it may be a sign that you need to step up your game a bit — perhaps in your look, perhaps in your approachability — perhaps in the energy you are showing the world.

Got a trip to the grocery store, the hardware store, or work today?  Make sure you look great, and that you look engaged, interested and approachable in everything you do.  Looking great means looking great and appropriate for the occasion — you don’t wear a cocktail dress to the grocery store — you will get noticed, but not approached because you are intimidating in that attire in that scenario.

I call it ” vacation attitude.”    I know MANY people who have met their mate while on vacation — do you know why?  It’s because when you get away from your everyday grind, in a plane, train, or just a trip to a grocery in a new town — it is human nature to be more “alive,” to show and express more interest, excitement and openness to the sights and the people around you.  For instance, have you ever noticed that while on vacation, you meet more guys?  Well, that’s because you are OPEN to them, more approachable, more relaxed and allowing them to really see you than you are when you are at home with your head down and your hair in a pony tail at the gym or the grocery store!  I challenge you to put on your VACATION ATTITUDE every day, to get noticed by the opposite sex!

When you walk into a bar or restaurant with your friends, your entrance is very important.  When walking in, hold your head high, your eyes wide open with an expression of friendliness and excitement.  When you walk in, make eye contact — just one seconds worth — with everyone who comes in your path, smile, and then look away.  Look back only if you like what you see!  Look around the room at the scene and the people — just like you would if you were on vacation!

If you are entering a party — again, your entrance is very important.  When you walk in the door, everyone is watching to see who comes in… make your entrance confident, happy, friendly and approachable.  Again, have a smile and just a second of eye contact for everyone you meet.  Look back only at those you are interested in.  If it’s someone you are interested in meeting, let the second glance last 2 seconds, and the 3rd glance last 5, before looking away.  That should be enough of a sign for him to come over and introduce himself.  If he doesn’t, then let it go — you want a guy who is willing to go after what he wants, don’t you?

Interestingly, if you are a guy, the approach is amazingly similar.  Remember how you look — your personal best and appropriate for the situation/venue, remember to look engaged, interested, excited and approachable when in public places.  Add to this, that if you are doing something interesting, noteworthy, polite, or excellent, you will have her attention.  Helping an elderly person, for example.  Or just opening a door for a woman.  Or being nice to the person that the girl you have noticed is with, is noticeable.  Look for her looking at you for more than 2 seconds… that’s your cue to say hello and start a conversation about ANYTHING.  And it can absolutely be anything.  She’s already told you with her gaze and smile that your advance is welcome.  However, if you do NOT get that more than 2 second glance, it’s probably not worth your time in approaching.

In short, it is easy to get noticed by the opposite sex, as long as you look your personal best, you are appropriate for the situation, and are showing energy and approachability wherever you are, out in the world.  So, put on your VACATION ATTITUDE and see how much you are noticed this week!  Let me know what you find!

Should you Break Up Before the Holidays?
December 7, 2010

The best advice I’ve ever been given regarding the death of dating relationships is, if you are happy more than 50% of the time, stay in the relationship and work on the relationship and on what it will take to be self-actualized within that relationship. If you are not happy at least 50% of the time, then it’s time to leave. If you don’t know for sure, then set a date on the calendar at which point you will re-evaluate. Then, on that date, follow through.

As for breaking up during the holiday season — if you know you are not happy at least 50% of the time, it’s time to go, and the sooner the better! That means do it tonight.

There are so many opportunities for meeting new singles over the holidays — it really is not in your best interest or the best interests of your soon to be ex to wait any longer. See this article for tips on meeting singles over the holidays: https://singlefun.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=85&action=edit

 

Top 5 Reasons it’s GREAT to be SINGLE over the Holidays!
December 6, 2010

Holiday lights, Christmas trees, presents, parties — the holiday season can be AMAZING fun and filled with friends and gifts and reasons to be thankful. The thing about the holidays is that if you are SINGLE, and you are not near your family (either in proximity or in spirit), it can be a time of trepidation where you just want to put your head down and work until it’s all over.

Cheer up, singles! It doesn’t have to be a time of anxiety — take a deep breath and reflect on  the Top 5 reasons it’s GREAT to be SINGLE over the Holidays:

1. You are not forced to go to your spouse or significant other’s holiday party — you don’t know those people anyway, and you will be spared the small talk and empty calories this night would bring.

2.  You are saving money on presents!  This is money that can be spent on making your own holiday merrier.

3. You have time off from work — USE IT to do something YOU really want to do! With less commitments than those who are married — you can decide to take a snowshoeing trip, or learn to cross country ski, or snowboard, or anything else you’ve really wanted to do, because now you can!  Afraid to do it yourself — take a lesson!  Most ski resorts offer them and you have instant “company” on the slopes/snoeshoe hill.  Or, if you REALLY want to have an endless variety of singles events to go to over the holiday season — you can be engaged in holiday fun every night by joining Events and Adventures (www.eventsandadventures.com) — the adventure and activity club for singles only.  Concerts, shows at the theater, parties, gift exchanges, holiday dinners (even ON Christmas day), group trips for snowmobiling, skiing, snowshoeing, holiday tree lighting in the mountains, and more are already planned for this month in 22 cities across the United States and in Vancouver, BC.  In fact, if you join Events and Adventures and mention the SingleFun blog, you will get your New Year’s Eve party for FREE as well as a thank you for joining.

4.  Great opportunities to meet new singles  — the holiday season is a GREAT time to see and be seen, and many singles are the ones traveling to your town to see their family — what better opportunity to meet them!  Bonus: if their FAMILY is from here, they are not really that long of a long distance relationship — they will always come home.  You can turn the added parties, and the excuse of “spreading holiday cheer” into the best opportunities of the year for you to look your best, reach out to your friends and neighbors and meet someone new!    Pay it forward — bring holiday cookies to your neighbors, or offer to shovel snow from their driveway.  Embrace the holidays instead of hiding from them, and you may find that your neighbor’s nephew or niece from out of town is actually cute, interesting and willing to help you put up your Christmas lights!  Or that the hum-drum holiday party down the street will actually offer you a great opportunity to meet someone new.

5.  Create your own definition of the “holiday spirit.”  If you have always wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen, there is no better time.  Been looking for the time to organize donation efforts — there is no better time than now to get others to jump on YOUR holiday bandwagon.  A single friend of mine organizes a “Toys for Tots” party at this time of year and the entire group of us meets at a local Toys R Us or Target, buys some holiday toys,  and proceeds directly to the neighborhood fire station for donation to the kids.  All this is followed immediately by a holiday cookies and cocktails party.  What a fun way to share the joy of giving with your friends.

No matter what you decide to do over the holidays, realize that there are some big advantages to being single at this time of year — and in the end, it’s what you make of it!  Tell me, what’s YOUR ideal way to spend the holidays when you are single?